its breaking my heart to know im not important enough.
i have to go for a bbq i really dont want to attend tomorrow.
i dont have a nice pair of shorts and i really want one.
i dont have any where to go cos i dont have any dates yet.
theres a whole pile of homework i really dont want to look at.
i have a sore throat.
i have a really painful head+heartache.
listening to high school musical songs for the 101th time is not doing anything to help my medical state.
its only one day into the holiday and i dont have any idea what i want to do with it.
my heart is in pieces.
my life is a mess.
those are really alot of reasons why i just want to sleep and forget everything that has been happening to me for the past 24 hours.ive been trying so hard to forget this. but i know i cant. and i never will. unless you tell me straight in the face. see. thats the problem with me. i dont give up easily. i really want to be here for you. but im being thrown aside like some overused tissue paper.and even after feeling like that. the only feeling i can feel is how i really want to be there. i should be feeling white hot anger now but no. i have to be so forgiving. i really hate myself sometimes.
okay. now that ive got my ranting over with, id like to say. this whole week was not good at all. in fact its so not good i want to assure my freinds that i love them(: and ill be okay. after a really good month of heart healing.
ive been pushing too much and i know that if it doesnt break i will. so ill try to stop. but its like cigarettes you know. once youre hooked. its really difficult to quit.

;je'taime